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208 lines
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208 lines
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HTML
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<title>Kestrel's Nest -- A weblog by Eric Wagoner</title>
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<p>We are gathered here, not to witness the beginning of what will be,
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but rather what already is! We do not create this marriage, because we
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cannot. We can and do, however, celebrate with Stephen and Lauryl the wondrous
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and joyful occurrence that has already taken place in their lives.
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<p>So let the celebration begin!
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<p><processional>
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<p>The first portion of the ceremony today is an audience-participation
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read-along. If you know the words, please join in:
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<p>"Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethaw today. Mawwiage,
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that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam..."
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<p>Thank you. We are gathered here to join this man and this woman in marriage,
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and in so doing join them and this child into a new family. Marriage is
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a relationship which embodies all the warm and precious values that grow
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out of human companionship and love. We enter it joyfully and in the knowledge
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that love is both our highest achievement and life's most precious gift.
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Love is one of the highest experiences that we human beings can have, and
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it can add depth of meaning to our lives. The sensual part of love is one
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of life's greatest joys, and when this is combined with real friendship
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both are infinitely enhanced. The day-to-day companionship - the pleasure
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in doing things together, or in doing separate things but in delighting
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to exchange experiences - is a continuous and central part of what two
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people who love each other can share.
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<p>Dad, Mom, you stand here representing the parents of both Lauryl and
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Stephen. As such you are not here to give the bride away but rather to
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be recognized not only as Lauryl's parents and a vital influence on her
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journey into adulthood, but also as an symbol of parental love and guidance
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which shapes us all into the people we are today. Are you ready to wish
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Lauryl and Stephen well on their new journey together?
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<p><"Yes">
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<p>It is appropriate that you, family and friends, are here to participate
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in this wedding. The ideals, the understanding, and the mutual respect
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which these two bring to their marriage have roots in the love, friendship,
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and guidance, with which you have provided them.
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<p>I won't talk for too long, but there are some things I'd like to say
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before you all get to watch them kiss. First, I'd like to read a bit from
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"The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibrant"
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<p>Then Almitra spoke again and said, And what of Marriage, master?
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<br>And he answered saying:
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<br>You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore.
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<br>You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
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<br>Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
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<br>But let there be spaces in your togetherness.
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<br>And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
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<br>Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
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<br>Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
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<br>Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
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<br>Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
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<br>Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
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<br>Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the
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same music.
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<br>Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
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<br>For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
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<br>And stand together yet not too near together:
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<br>For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
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<br>And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
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<p>There is an art to marriage as there is to any creative activity we
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human beings engage in. This art asks that we pay attention to the little
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things as well as the big ones that are part of the closeness of marriage.
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Here's some of those little things... feel free to take this list, set
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it to a techno block-rockin beat, and get fame and riches: Never grow to
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old to hold hands. At least once each day, remember to say "I love you."
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In so much as it is possible, develop the capacity to forgive and forget
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and heal quarrels as they happen so that you do not go to bed angry. Your
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courtship should not end with the honeymoon; so pay attention that you
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do not come to take each other for granted, and remember to speak words
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of appreciation and demonstrate your gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is
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important to have a mutual sense of values and common objectives so that
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you stand together as you work through the world and do things for each
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other, not as a duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. Do not expect
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perfection of each other, but do give each other room to grow and cultivate
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flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor in your relationship.
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And your marriage is not just for two people. Use it to form a circle of
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love that gathers in your families and friends. Find room for the things
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of the spirit and make your search for the good and the beautiful a common
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search. Make yours a relationship in which "the independence is equal,
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the dependence is mutual, and the obligation is reciprocal." Remember that
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standing together never means dissolving your individual selves into each
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other, but indeed means the strengthening of the individuality of each.
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A good marriage evolves when two distinct souls face life's joy and its
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sorrow in harmony, not in unison.
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<p>This list sounds very long and very heavy, yet it is only a small part
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of what is required of two people who would truly accept that making a
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marriage over the years is an artistic endeavor worthy of our best efforts.
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It is not just another relationship in our lives; it is the one that gives
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us courage and the support to reach out to other people in love and wholeness.
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<p>Marriage has certain qualities of contract, in which two people take
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on the housekeeping tasks of living, together, to enhance life's joy. However,
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marriage is more than a contract. Marriage is commitment to take that joy
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deep . . . deep in to the discovery of who you most truly are. And thus
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marriage is even deeper than commitment. It is a covenant, a covenant that
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says: I love you. I trust you. I will be here for you when you are hurting,
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and when I am hurting, I will not leave. It is a covenant intended not
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to provide haven from pain or from anger and sorrow. Life offers no such
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haven. Instead, marriage is intended to provide a sanctuary safe enough
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to risk loving, to risk living and sharing from the center of oneself.
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This is worth everything.
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<p>For the Literati in the crowd today, here's a few words on the subject
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from Shakespeare. His sonnet #116:
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<p>Let me not to the marriage of true minds
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<br>admit impediments. Love is not love
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<br>which alters when it alteration finds,
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<br>or bends with the remover to remove:
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<br>Oh, no! It is an ever-fix'd mark.
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<br>That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
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<br>it is the star to every wandering bark,
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<br>whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
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<br>Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
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<br>within his bending sickle's compass come;
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<br>love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
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<br>but bears it out even to the edge of doom.
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<br>If this be error and upon me prov'd,
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<br>I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd.
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<br>
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<p>Lauryl and Stephen, you have invited us to witness the happiness that
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you have found in each other. Are you ready to make the pledges to which
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you commit yourselves to each other in love?
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<p><"Yes">
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<p>Lauryl and Stephen, you have come to this celebration with an awareness
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that your marriage will have its rewards and its joys, as well as sorrows.
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Your lives will be intertwined with Castle's and it would be unrealistic
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to assume that the three of you will always live in harmony. However, as
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you have already established a strong foundation for a family life, you
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will be able to meet future challenges with humor, understanding and compassion.
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May you, by example, help your children to grow into self-reliant adults,
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and in turn, may you learn from them, fully appreciating their youthfulness
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<p><Stephen's:
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<p><My dearest Lauryl, whom I love and cherish,
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<br>< ideal of intelligence, beauty, and grace,
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<br>< I am deeply honored and enormously elated
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<br>< to take you as my wife, lover, friend,
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<br>< and my mate in the truest sense.
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<br>< Created for me to love and to love me in return.
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<br>< My finest hour is the day you first said I love you.
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<br>< I offer myself to you and Castle,
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<br>< who I am inordinately proud to call my son.
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<br>< I pledge before family and friends, earth and sky,
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<br>< to love and adore you as long as
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<br>< there is light in my eye and breath in my body,
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<br>< and I pray the Goddess smiles on our union.
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<p><Lauryl's:
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<p>< My dearest Stephen, both amazing and bold,
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<br>< I stand here with you, my soul's found-keeping,
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<br>< to share with our friends and family
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<br>< that you are my friend, my lover,
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<br>< moondancer, and husband.
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<br>< Every cell of my body sings your name.
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<br>< I promise to you my fullest potential of love,
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<br>< my caress for your pain,
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<br>< and my touch for your pleasure.
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<br>< I offer you all that I have,
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<br>< all that I am,
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<br>< and all that I will be.
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<br>< Before all that is living and dead I promise to you
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<br>< that my love, adoration, and desire for you
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<br>< will never end.
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<p>The ring is a symbol of unity in which your lives are now joined in
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one unbroken circle. Your wedding rings declare that even in your uniqueness
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you have chosen to be together, to allow the presence of another human
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being to enhance who you are and who you will become. May your love have
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the strength and resilience of these rings which you have chosen to symbolize
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your love.
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<p><Stephen: "I hope you wear this ring as a reminder that I love you
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every single day of your life.">
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<p><Lauryl: "I hope you wear this ring as a reminder that I love you
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every single day of your life.">
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<p>Stephen and Lauryl, marriage is the joining of two people- the union
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of two hearts. It lives on the love you give each other and never grows
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old, but thrives on the joy of each new day. May you always have in your
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hearts the memory of this special day. May you always be able to talk things
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over, to confide in each other, to laugh with each other, to enjoy life
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together, and to share moments of quiet and peace, when the day is done.
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May you enjoy a lifetime of happiness.
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<p>I have one more bit af advice for you, this time from the verse of Ogden
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Nash:
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<p>To keep your marriage brimming,
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<br>With love in the loving cup,
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<br>Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
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<br>Whenever you're right, shut up.
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<p>Forasmuch as Stephen and Lauryl have grown in knowledge and love of
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one another, and because they have agreed in their desire to go forward
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in life together, seeking an even richer, deepening relationship, and because
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they have pledged to meet sorrow and joy as one family, we rejoice to recognize
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them as husband and wife.
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<p><Smooch>
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