Add new blog post: Forty Years of Code, Still Can't Type

Personal reflection on impostor syndrome and neurodivergent coding experience. Discusses 40+ years of self-taught development while struggling with mechanical typing precision, the unsustainable "code frenzies" coping mechanism, and how AI-assisted development (Claude Code) eliminated the transcription bottleneck.

Also updates CLAUDE.md with comprehensive voice and style guide for future writing assistance.

🤖 Generated with [Claude Code](https://claude.com/claude-code)

Co-Authored-By: Claude <noreply@anthropic.com>

CLAUDE.md

@@ -75,4 +75,137 @@ The site has four menu groups configured in `config.toml`:
 
 - The Hugo server automatically watches for changes in `/archetypes`, `/assets`, `/content`, `/data`, `/layouts`, `/static`, and `/themes`
 - Posts are created with draft status by default (controlled by archetype)
-- The site integrates with multiple social platforms and services in the Kestrel's Nest ecosystem
+- The site integrates with multiple social platforms and services in the Kestrel's Nest ecosystem
+
+## Eric's Writing Voice & Style Guide
+
+When writing or editing blog posts, maintain Eric's distinctive voice and structural patterns:
+
+### Structural Patterns
+
+1. **Opening Elements**
+   - Start with an italicized tagline that captures the core insight (e.g., "_Three thousand passing tests don't mean your system works_")
+   - Include a TL;DR section early in technical posts, using callout boxes for key summaries
+   - Use horizontal rules (`---`) to separate major sections
+
+2. **Callout Boxes** (use Hugo shortcode syntax)
+   - Extensively use callout boxes for warnings, examples, quotes, and key insights
+   - Types: `info`, `warning`, `success`, `danger`, `note`, `quote`, `example`
+   - These are structural signposts, not decoration—they highlight critical information
+   - Example: `{{< callout type="info" title="Why This Matters" >}}...{{< /callout >}}`
+
+3. **Section Structure**
+   - Use numbered breakdowns for complex topics (Bug Category #1, #2, etc.)
+   - End sections with concrete metrics or results
+   - Include "What's Next" or forward-looking sections in series posts
+
+### Tone & Voice Characteristics
+
+1. **Brutal Honesty with Technical Confidence**
+   - Be unflinchingly honest about failures and mistakes
+   - Never self-pitying—own mistakes but frame as learning
+   - Mix emotional vulnerability with technical precision
+   - Examples: "The Most Embarrassing Bug," "My morale was at an all-time low" paired with detailed technical analysis
+
+2. **Concrete Over Abstract**
+   - Always ground statements in specific numbers, metrics, and examples
+   - Replace abstract lists with detailed scenarios showing actual time breakdowns
+   - Use real project names (LocallyGrown.net) and specific technologies (Rails, SvelteKit, Claude Code)
+   - Before/after comparisons with actual measurements: "8-12 commits per week" → "40-50 commits per week"
+
+3. **Show the Work**
+   - Include code snippets (even wrong code) with explanations
+   - Provide specific numbers: "314 commits in 18 days," "$1.3 million in annual sales"
+   - Show actual dialogue or process breakdowns
+   - Time breakdowns: "Total: 25 minutes. The thinking took 2. The transcription took 23."
+
+4. **Characteristic Phrases**
+   - "Here's what matters:"
+   - "The numbers tell the story:"
+   - "The real X was always Y"
+   - "This wasn't about X. It was about Y."
+   - Rhetorical questions followed by answers
+   - Extensive parenthetical asides: "(after comparing Prisma, TypeORM, and others)"
+
+5. **Human Impact Focus**
+   - Always circle back to impact on real people—users, customers, communities
+   - Frame personal victories as community victories
+   - End with forward-looking perspective, not just resolution
+   - Connect technical decisions to human consequences
+
+6. **Technical Communication**
+   - Never assume reader is technical—explain even when showing code
+   - Balance technical specifics with human impact
+   - Use technical details to prove points, not to show off
+   - Include both the code AND the why
+
+### Content Patterns
+
+1. **Examples Over Explanation**
+   - Transform abstract concepts into concrete scenarios
+   - Show specific workflows with timing breakdowns
+   - Include real-world examples from actual projects
+   - Use before/after comparisons with measurable differences
+
+2. **Data-Driven Narratives**
+   - Support claims with specific metrics
+   - Track and report actual measurements
+   - Use Git logs, analytics, user counts as evidence
+   - Quantify time savings, performance improvements, impact
+
+3. **Acknowledgment & Gratitude**
+   - Credit others extensively (market managers, designers, contributors)
+   - Acknowledge tools and their creators
+   - Recognize community contributions
+   - Human names for AI agents (Ray, Agatha, Ada) to maintain human-centered perspective
+
+4. **Balanced Disclaimers**
+   - Use callout boxes for important context or disclaimers
+   - Acknowledge different approaches work for different people
+   - "What This Isn't" sections to clarify boundaries
+   - Respectful of different working styles and tools
+
+### Series & Long-Form Posts
+
+For multi-part series (like the LocallyGrown series):
+
+- Include series navigation at the end
+- Link to related posts with clear context
+- Use consistent callout styles across the series
+- Build narrative arc across posts
+- Reference earlier posts when relevant
+
+### Example Transformations
+
+**Abstract → Concrete:**
+
+Before: "Most of my time was spent on mechanical tasks"
+
+After: "I tracked it once: 4 hours of actual coding work produced 3.5 hours of fixing typos, hunting syntax, and triple-checking. The ratio was backwards."
+
+**General → Specific:**
+
+Before: "The platform performs well"
+
+After: "Response times are consistently under 2 seconds, even during peak Sunday night ordering when 200+ customers are browsing simultaneously."
+
+**Personal → Community:**
+
+Before: "I finally solved the problem"
+
+After: "The fix went live Tuesday morning. By Wednesday, three market managers reported their volunteers could finally access the tools they needed. Physical workflow restored."
+
+### Voice Checklist for Posts
+
+- [ ] Opens with italicized tagline
+- [ ] Includes TL;DR with metrics (for technical posts)
+- [ ] Uses 2-4 callout boxes for key insights
+- [ ] Contains specific numbers and measurements
+- [ ] Shows concrete examples, not just abstractions
+- [ ] Balances vulnerability with technical confidence
+- [ ] Includes impact on real people/communities
+- [ ] Ends with forward-looking perspective
+- [ ] Credits others and acknowledges contributions
+- [ ] Uses characteristic phrases ("Here's what matters," "The numbers tell the story")
+
+This voice reflects someone who is deeply technical, brutally honest about challenges, focused on real-world impact, and committed to serving communities—not just building software.

content/posts/2025-09-29-from-survival-to-sustainability-the-next-20-years-for-locallygrownnet.md

@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ tags:
   - locallygrown
 categories:
   - locallygrown
-lastmod: 2025-09-29T05:11:13.711Z
+lastmod: 2025-10-03T16:29:08.958Z
 keywords:
   - locallygrown
 slug: locallygrown-survival-to-sustainability
@@ -229,7 +229,7 @@ If you've come in at the end, here's the whole journey in order:
 2. [The 23-Year Rescue Mission: Saving Agricultural Innovation from Technical Extinction](https://blog.kestrelsnest.social/posts/locallygrown-rescue-mission/)
 3. [The Architecture Challenge: Translating 19 Years of Rails Logic to Modern SvelteKit](https://blog.kestrelsnest.social/posts/locallygrown-rails-svelte-migration/)
 4. [Crisis Response: When Launch Day Goes Wrong](https://blog.kestrelsnest.social/posts/locallygrown-reality-of-production/)
-5. [Lessons from the Solo Developer + AI Trenches](https://blog.kestrelsnest.social/posts/locallygrown-lessons/)
+5. [Lessons from the Solo Developer Using Modern Tools](https://blog.kestrelsnest.social/posts/locallygrown-lessons/)
 6. **From Survival to Sustainability: The Next 20 Years** ← _You are here_
 
 ---

content/posts/2025-11-17-forty-years-of-code-still-cant-type-a-developers-confession.md

@@ -0,0 +1,163 @@
+---
+title: "Forty Years of Code, Still Can't Type: A Developer's Confession"
+description: After four decades of writing code, I still feel like an impostor. Not because I can't solve problems, but because the mechanical act of typing them has always been excruciating. Until now.
+date: 2025-11-17T23:46:08.582Z
+preview: ""
+draft: false
+tags:
+  - programming
+  - ai
+  - impostor-syndrome
+  - development
+categories: []
+lastmod: 2025-11-18T01:05:54.604Z
+---
+
+_After forty years of writing code, I finally realized the thing that made me feel like an impostor had nothing to do with my ability to code—and everything to do with my fingers._
+
+---
+
+## TL;DR
+
+{{< callout type="info" title="The Bottleneck" >}}
+After 40 years of coding while terrible at typing and spelling, I discovered the bottleneck wasn't my brain. It was my fingers. Using AI-assisted development tools didn't replace my expertise; it eliminated the mechanical transcription that was draining most of my energy. The typing was never the "real work." The thinking always was.
+
+**The difference:** I get more done in the same hours. Features ship faster. Bugs get fixed quicker. And I still feel energized when I'm done coding, not drained from forced mechanical precision.
+{{< /callout >}}
+
+---
+
+I've been writing code for over forty years. I've never taken a single computer class. And despite building countless projects that work, that solve real problems, that create value, I've spent most of those four decades feeling like a fraud.
+
+Here's my confession: I'm terrible at the mechanical act of coding.
+
+**This isn't a story about replacing developers with AI.** It's about removing an unnecessary handicap so I could finally code the way my brain was wired to.
+
+## The Love and the Struggle
+
+I love creating digital things from thin air. The moment when you imagine something that could exist, work through the logic in your head, and then, solely by thinking, make it real. That part is magic, and that part I'm good at.
+
+{{< callout type="example" title="How I Learned to Code" >}}
+I started young, typing code out of magazines on an Apple ][+ in the early 1980s. I'd read guides from The Beagle Bros. about PEEK and POKE, try things out, study source code on shareware programs from hand-me-down floppies. I learned by doing, by playing, by emulating what I found.
+
+I'm neurodivergent, and this learning style (experiential, hands-on, pattern-based) has always been how my brain works best. I could see the logic, understand the systems, grasp the patterns. The thinking part came naturally.
+
+The typing part never did.
+{{< /callout >}}
+
+But there's a gap between my brain and the computer. A chasm, really. And crossing it has always felt like walking through quicksand.
+
+I literally cannot touch type. I've tried to learn, so many times, but my fingers don't work that way. Ironically, when typing natural language (like this sentence), my index and middle fingers on both hands race across the keys faster than you'd guess. The words flow from thought to screen (though often not spelled as they should).
+
+But code? Code demands perfection: the right words, the right spelling, the right syntax. Every brace, every semicolon, every character in exactly the right place. One hundred percent accuracy, no exceptions. And I'm a terrible speller on top of it all.
+
+My brain excels at problem-solving. It's great at seeing patterns, understanding systems, architecting solutions. But it struggles with mechanical precision. And for forty years, I've been trying to force a problem-solving brain to do transcription work that requires a level of exactness my fingers have never mastered.
+
+## The Reality of My Days
+
+Here's what implementing a simple authentication check actually looked like for me:
+
+**The Thinking:**
+"Need to verify user has admin role OR owns this resource." It was clear, simple, immediate.
+
+**The Transcription:**
+
+1. Look up the syntax for our authorization library
+2. Type the condition slowly, fixing typos as I go: `if (user.hasRole('admin') || resource.ownerId == user.id)`
+3. Catch the typo myself: should be `===` not `==`
+4. Remember to add error handling; look up try/catch syntax again
+5. Add the try/catch block
+6. Run the linter, fix the typos it catches
+7. Re-read everything one more time to make sure
+
+The thinking was quick. The transcription felt endless. The ratio was backwards.
+
+By the end of a coding session, I'd be exhausted. Not the good exhaustion of solving hard problems, but the draining fatigue of transcription work. Like an introvert after hours in a loud room, depleted from the wrong kind of effort.
+
+And I kept thinking: _Real developers don't struggle like this. Real developers don't make these basic mistakes. Real developers can just... type._
+
+**The typing was necessary work. I was just really, really bad at it.** So bad that I developed an unsustainable coping mechanism over the decades: code frenzies. I'd psych myself up, marshal all my energy and focus, and have these huge bursts of productivity where I'd push through the exhaustion and transcribe as much as I could. Then I'd crash. For days afterward, I'd have no energy for coding. I could research, plan, think through problems, but actually writing code? I had to wait until I'd recovered enough to force another frenzy.
+
+For me, this is what "being a developer" meant. This was my normal.
+
+To bosses, clients, and teammates, it probably looked fine. The work got done. I hit deadlines. But I was working myself to mental exhaustion just to produce what other developers seemed to do effortlessly.
+
+## The Turning Point
+
+Then I started using Claude Code. Not as a replacement for my thinking (I'm still the one solving the problems, making the architectural decisions, determining what the code needs to do) but as a partner that handles the mechanical transcription while I maintain creative control.
+
+Something unexpected happened.
+
+{{< callout type="success" title="I Could Suddenly Fly" >}}
+**The same authentication check, with Claude Code:**
+
+Me: "I need to add authorization logic to the resource edit endpoint in the API routes. Here's the requirement: a user should be able to edit a resource if they have the admin role OR if they own that specific resource. The user object already has a hasRole method we use elsewhere, so use that for the admin check. For ownership, compare resource.ownerId to user.id, and make sure you use strict equality not loose equality. The authorization check needs to happen before any data modifications. If it fails, throw a 403 Forbidden with a message like 'You do not have permission to edit this resource.' Wrap the whole thing in try/catch so we handle any errors gracefully. And make sure all the TypeScript types are explicit."
+
+Claude Code: [Generates the function with correct syntax, proper comparison operators, error handling, and TypeScript types]
+
+Me: [Reviews the implementation, verifies the logic matches my requirements, checks edge cases, approves, commits]
+
+**What just happened:** I spent my energy on the thinking and the explaining. Claude Code spent its energy on the transcription. No typos. No syntax lookup. No exhaustion.
+{{< /callout >}}
+
+The bottleneck between my brain and the computer was gone. I could think through a problem and see it implemented correctly, immediately. No typos, no syntax errors, no hunting down the same function signature for the dozenth time. And best of all, no exhaustion from forced mechanical precision.
+
+I was getting more done, feeling better at the end of the day, and most importantly, I was still writing code, still creating, still solving problems.
+
+I just wasn't spending most of my energy on transcription anymore.
+
+## What Changed
+
+With Claude Code, the frenzies stopped. I could work at a steady pace. Think through a problem, explain it in detail, review the implementation, move on to the next problem. No psyching myself up. No crashes. No cycles of burst and recovery.
+
+For forty years, I'd been measuring myself against the wrong metric. "Good developers" were people who could type code quickly and accurately. But that was confusing the medium with the message.
+
+I was always a great developer. I was just programming on hard mode for four decades.
+
+## What This Isn't
+
+{{< callout type="note" title="Important Context" >}}
+This isn't an argument that everyone should use AI tools. Some developers genuinely enjoy the mechanical aspects of coding. Some find the typing meditative. Some think at the speed of their fingers. That's wonderful—code however your brain works best.
+
+This also isn't suggesting that formal training isn't valuable, or that AI will replace programmers, or that the craft of software development doesn't matter.
+
+If anything, it's the opposite. By removing my personal bottleneck, I can finally focus more fully on the craft itself—on writing better software, not just writing software better.
+{{< /callout >}}
+
+## Working at the Speed of Thought
+
+These days, I work differently. When I need to implement something, I think through the problem, explain what needs to happen, and Claude Code handles the transcription. I review it, validate it, adjust it. The code is still mine—I'm still the one creating it, making the decisions, taking responsibility for it.
+
+I'm just not exhausting myself typing it anymore.
+
+**A Recent Example:**
+
+Recently, I rebuilt the search functionality for my LocallyGrown.net farmers market platform. The old Rails implementation was slow and inflexible. I needed to add filters, improve performance, and support multiple market contexts.
+
+With Claude Code:
+
+- Designed the new architecture (my decisions about caching strategy, query optimization, API structure)
+- Explained the requirements and constraints
+- Reviewed the generated TypeScript services and Svelte components
+- Caught edge cases Claude missed (markets with no active products, search terms with special characters)
+- Adjusted and shipped
+
+The work that used to take days of exhausting transcription now takes hours of focused problem-solving. Not because the thinking is easier, but because the mechanical bottleneck is gone.
+
+The projects I'm building now ship faster, work better, and reach more people. The code is not fundamentally different, and I'm not draining my energy on transcription anymore.
+
+---
+
+Will the impostor syndrome ever fully fade? Probably not. There will always be ways, real or imagined, to measure myself against my peers. That's not something a tool can fix.
+
+But now I have one more coping mechanism stripped away, one more mask that was hiding my neurodivergence that I can remove. The code frenzies, the exhaustion, the forced mechanical precision—I don't need those anymore to keep up.
+
+After forty years of trying to force my brain to work like everyone else's, I can finally apply my actual strengths: the thinking, the problem-solving, the architecture, the creation of digital things from thin air.
+
+The typing was never going to be my strength. And that's okay now.
+
+{{< callout type="quote" title="If You've Ever Felt Like an Impostor" >}}
+If you've felt like an impostor because the mechanical parts of your craft don't come naturally, here's my takeaway: **the tools you use don't determine your legitimacy. The problems you solve and the things you create do.**
+
+Find the tools that let your brain work the way it actually works. Strip away the masks. Apply your strengths.
+{{< /callout >}}