There’s a football linebacker squeezed into the middle seat. The “window” seat (our row has no window) has a fellow on a loud business call. He’s using all the buzzwords and two years into the pandemic doesn’t know how to wear a mask.

Eric Wagoner

@ewagoner

Boarding an airplane is just like I remember. Got in line right when my upgraded section was called but somehow the entire area was full of people and my “dedicated overhead storage” is actually at the back of the plane.

4/11/2022, 12:37:44 PM

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Eric Wagoner

@ewagoner

There’s a football linebacker squeezed into the middle seat. The “window” seat (our row has no window) has a fellow on a loud business call. He’s using all the buzzwords and two years into the pandemic doesn’t know how to wear a mask.

4/11/2022, 12:39:55 PM

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Eric Wagoner

@ewagoner

I lost count of how many times I was whacked in the head by people not careful hauling their luggage down the aisle. That’s the penalty for not having to compress myself the entire rest of the flight.

4/11/2022, 12:42:49 PM

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Eric Wagoner

@ewagoner

But I did get the patented Eric lucky break: after the door closed the linebacker was moved to first class so the plane’s only empty seat is next to me.

4/11/2022, 12:44:21 PM

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Eric Wagoner

@ewagoner

Special shout-out to the business asshole in my row who wouldn’t wear his mask the entire flight. Fuck him.

4/11/2022, 2:34:29 PM

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